


Secret Santa

by JinjoJess



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, F/F, Incest, One-sided pining, mentions of the fact that teens boink sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 21:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17128781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JinjoJess/pseuds/JinjoJess
Summary: Kirigiri has a secret admirer leaving gifts for her every day of December. Can she figure out who’s behind it before Christmas Eve? Pre-Despair, assuming that Despair happens a few years later than it does in canon.





	Secret Santa

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! I'm in the process of moving over all of my old fic from my Tumblr to AO3 for preservation purposes. This was originally a giftfic for Christmas 2013. Please enjoy!

On the first of December, following an early dismissal of her Ethics of Human Research course, Kirigiri found an envelope clumsily wedged under her door. After confirming that it didn’t contain arsenic, illegal drugs, or confetti, she slipped a gloved finger under the flap and tore it open.

_Dear Kirigiri-san,_

_I hope you don’t mind playing a game with me. For a long time now I’ve had feelings for you, but was never sure how to let you know. So instead I’ll let you figure it out. You like solving mysteries, right? Try to find me out by Christmas Eve._

_From,_

_Your Secret Admirer_

The detective frowned and carefully refolded the letter. What kind of joke was this? It wasn’t possible that the letter was sincere; she hadn’t come to the school to gain fans. That was something better left to the likes of Enoshima and Maizono. In fact, being noticed by a classmate would irk more than delight her.

She tapped a finger against her chin for a moment before entering her room. It had to be a prank. She knew exactly who was responsible.

~

“I have to say, this isn’t your best work.” Kirigiri tossed the envelope onto the cafeteria table. It slid across the plastic surface, coming to rest just beside the saucer Yamada had delivered.

“Kirigiri-san, whatever are you talking about?”

“That’s enough, Celes-san, we don’t need to keep up the ruse. I expected better from you.”

“Hm?” The gambler put her cup back on its saucer and picked up the note. “You think this is from me? What is it, a declaration of love?”

“You know that’s exactly what it is.”

Celes giggled and pulled out the letter, fingers pressed to her lips as she read and re-read the lines.

“Oh my, Kirigiri-san. This is quite the confession.”

“Stop congratulating yourself.” She crossed her arms. “You’ve been leaving small gifts at my door all week.”

“I didn’t write this.”

“Drop the act.”

Celes looked up from the paper with a smile. She tilted her head and reached across the table, clasping the detective’s hand in her own.

“While the sentiments might be similar,” she said, one finger caressing a metal stud on the back of the glove, “I’m afraid I have nothing to do with this. You said yourself that this doesn’t seem at all like me. For one thing, I wouldn’t be so sloppy.”

Kirigiri pulled her hand away. “I thought I made it clear that I’m not interested in a relationship with you.”

“And I’ve respected your wishes. Despite your… _enthusiasm_ in the past.”

“It was  _one time,_ Celes,” Kirigiri said, hardening her expression to let the lack of an honorific set in. “I was emotionally vulnerable, and you took advantage of me.”

“Funny, that’s not how I remember it. Not that you weren’t vulnerable—I’m sure it was heartbreaking to find that the object of your affections does indeed swing that way, but only for her sis-”

“Stop it.”

Celes’s lips relaxed, her smile uncoiling into a look of genuine concern. “We both know what rejection feels like. That’s all I’m trying to say.”

“Yes, well unlike you I’m over it. I’m over her.”

“Are you sure? It doesn’t really sound like you are.”

“If this letter isn’t from you, who could it be from?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps you should take their suggestion and try putting some of your investigative power behind it?”

“I suppose I will,” Kirigiri said. “And Celes-san, I’m sorry about what happened. I knew how you felt and it was wrong of me to use you.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s one of my fondest memories.” The tight grin returned to her face, pulling the skin around her mouth taut. “You can make it up to me by letting me know who my competition is.”

~

Kirigiri was unnerved. She had been so sure that Celes was behind the note and the trinkets appearing at her door every day, and to find out that it wasn’t upset her. One person with unrequited feelings was difficult enough to manage, but another? And one operating in secret?

It wasn’t fear of the unknown, but rather distaste. Since she’d been small, Kirigiri had been driven by an insatiable need to know, to solve, to settle. It was her job to expose the truth and tie up loose ends. Being observed by an unseen force kindled nothing but anxiety. Did some people really enjoy this?

For the hundredth time, she scrutinized the letter. It had to be from a girl; the handwriting was too feminine. Though, to be fair, some of the boys in the class gave off that impression as well. That would be especially troublesome; while a female classmate at least stood a chance, there was no way she could ever reciprocate romantic feelings for a boy.

Pressing the heels of her palms to her closed eyes, Kirigiri hissed. She’d deal with it tomorrow.

~

“Naegi-kun, a moment?”

The boy froze in place just outside the classroom door, the only motion his swinging tie. “What is it, Kirigiri-san?”

“I have an investigation underway and I need to ask you some questions.”

“Oh, um, all right.”

He followed her to recreation room, sitting awkwardly on the couch.

“You’re a rather notorious gift-giver, are you not?”

“Ah, well, some people say that about me…”

“Are these from you?” Kirigiri held up both the letter and that day’s gift: a bottle of blueberry perfume.

“No, those aren’t from me.”

“Really.”

“Yes.”

“I still have an entire box of Bojobo Dolls sitting in my closet from my last birthday. You were the one shopping with me when I mentioned that I was fond of blueberry as a scent.”

“There…were other people around then. Maybe they overheard.”

“Naegi-kun. Who else would it be?”

“It could be anyone!”

“You wouldn’t be so nervous right now if you weren’t the culprit.”

The boy jumped from the sofa, hands balled into fists. “THAT’S WRONG!”

Almost immediately, the intense expression on his face melted away, replaced by a deep blush and a sheepish grimace. He mumbled something and fled the room.

_Now that he’s been found out, there’s no way he’ll continue,_  Kirigiri thought. Her pleased glow lasted until the next morning, when she discovered a bag of freshly roasted Luwak Coffee waiting for her outside her door.

She had never discussed coffee with Naegi.

~

It had been a long time since a case had frustrated Kirigiri quite this much. Not Celes, not Naegi…that about summed up her social circle. Anyone outside of that was someone she didn’t normally consort with, and that was an unwelcome thought. Outright confrontation was now out of the question; she’d have to approach more delicately from now on.

Based on Naegi’s behavior, he knew who the culprit was, but had likely been sworn to secrecy. Unfortunately, because he was on good terms with just about everyone in their class, this information did little to narrow down suspects. Kirigiri instead focused on the gifts themselves to decipher clues.

Last semester, she had taken an early morning science class along with Asahina and Oogami. On the way to the lab every Tuesday and Thursday morning, the three of them stopped for coffee at the campus cafe. As they took turns paying for rounds, they’d all become quite familiar with the others’ preferences. Luwak was not a common brand.

Kirigiri stood outside the girls’ locker room, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Whether in the pool or the gym, they’d be together. The note was clearly from one person. Just to be sure, she read the letter again. Yes, definitely a single person. Was it possible that one of them could be her admirer? Was she really desirable enough to rupture such a deep connection?

_This is not the partnership I want to break._

She remembered those mornings in the cafe. The way Oogami and Asahina looked at each other, there was no ambiguity to their affections. Even if Kirigiri barged in right now and insisted that one of them had written the letter and left the gifts, there probably wouldn’t even be an argument. They would talk it out like sensible adults, reach the conclusion that it hadn’t been either of them, and the whole episode would accomplish nothing aside from embarrassing Kirigiri.

_Asahina and Oogami are on a completely different level,_  the detective thought, lowering her hand from the locker room door.

~

Back to square one.

On the return trip to her room, Kirigiri passed Maizono. The idol offered her a nod and a smile, as was her custom, but released a shocked gasp when the detective grabbed her arm.

“Maizono-san,” Kirigiri said. “You don’t happen to know anything about the person who’s been leaving things by my door, do you?”

“Huh?”

“Someone’s been putting things—gifts—outside my room for over two weeks,” Kirigiri said. “Since I’m on the end of the hallway, everyone passes my door. That makes it very difficult to determine who the cul- person responsible is.”

“I see.” Maizono’s mouth straightened and her eyebrows drew in. “It’s making you question your abilities as a detective.”

“Excuse me?” This was precisely why Kirigiri didn’t associate with anyone outside of Celes and Naegi. If she got too close, she might find that her stoic facade wasn’t quite as airtight as she liked to believe.

“Don’t worry, it isn’t obvious.” The idol tilted her head to the side and smiled. “My intuition is just very good.”

“Right, right. Esper, yes?”

“Exactly.”

“I will admit, the whole ordeal has been frustrating. It seems I’ve already exhausted my leads.”

“Well, you know who  _hasn’t_  put the gifts there. That’s a start.”

“True. And…” Kirigiri looked up at the door across from her own. “I know when.”

“Oh?”

Kirigiri left for class every morning at seven a.m., and since the beginning of December, had found a present waiting for her. Ishimaru went to the gym at six a.m. sharp every day for daily radio exercises; surely if he had spotted anything even casually resembling litter in the corridor, Kirigiri would have heard about it. They all would have heard about it.

“What time is your first class, Maizono-san?”

“This semester? Nine-thirty.”

“Thank you. Excuse me, I need to check on something.” Kirigiri headed toward the stairs leading to the second floor of the dormitory. “If you happen to see anything or glean any information with your abilities, please inform me.”

“Sure thing,” the idol said, waving good-bye.

~

“Father, I need access to class enrollment records for this semester.”

“Kyouko! What a nice surprise. I was just thinking earlier today that we should spend more time together.”

“Please don’t start.” Kirigiri walked past the headmaster to pick up the office key. To her annoyance, he followed her all the way to the fourth floor, chattering away about father-daughter activities she had no intention of participating in.

“Someday you’re going to have your own child and you’ll know how I feel,” Jin said as Kirigiri unlocked his office door and went inside.

“I don’t plan to have children.”

“What? Why not?”

“First, because I’m not irresponsible like present company. Second, because I don’t want to. The third reason is something I had hoped you’d internalized by now.”

“Do you not read the news? There’s that bone marrow thing. You could only have daughters, but I can’t picture you with a little boy anyway.”

“Regardless, the first two reasons still stand.” At the bookcase, she ran a finger along the spines of the various binders. Her father truly was the worst. They weren’t even arranged in order.

“But Kyouko-chan,” the headmaster said, that obnoxious cloying tone stuck to every word, “I had hoped for grandchildren.”

Found it. “Do you really think you can passive aggressively guilt me into procreation? I don’t remember signing up to fulfill that particular filial duty.”

“Maybe you won’t do it for me.” Jin leaned against the desk, crossing his arms in a decidedly pouty fashion. “But otherwise who will carry on the family name?”

Kirigiri had been about to turn around and explode on her father, tell him that not only did she have cousins—something he might have remembered if he kept in touch with the family at all—but he was the last person who could accuse her of shirking her hereditary responsibility. The exchange might have been cathartic, giving her an opportunity to vent not only her usual disappointment in her surviving parent, but her irritation over being unable to unmask her secret admirer.

Unfortunately, there was only one person in her grade taking a class that required them to get up between six and seven a.m., and upon seeing the name, the anger died in her throat and froze into cold horror.

“No…” she whispered.

~

“Hey, Kirigiri-chi!”

She stood rigidly beneath the hanging laundry, pupils constricted and focusing anywhere but on her classmate. This had to be wrong. There was no way. Hagakure had already fudged multiple marriages, it wasn’t possible that he was clever or romantic enough to set up something like this.

“You, uh, all right?”

“Yes. I’m fine.” Blinking in an attempt to escape her stupor, Kirigiri removed the note and the gift she’d received that morning: a bouquet of cherry blossoms. After her discovery in her father’s office the day before, she had abandoned the plan to catch the culprit red-handed. “Hagakure-kun, may I ask you something?”

“Sure!”

“It seems…that I…have acquired something of a…secret…admirer.” She forced the words from her lips, every hair standing on end and every nerve screaming at her to stop speaking and run away.

“Oh yeah?” Hagakure reached up to pat his hair. A soft blush tinged his cheeks.

No. No, god  _please._

“After some…investigation….I have…concluded that it…might…” Kirigiri hoped her inner turmoil wasn’t registering in her expression, though there was no way the disgust wasn’t reflected on her face. The boy—man—was leaning forward eagerly. “…be you,” she said, her voice barely above a quiet squeak.

“Hoo, wow.” Hagakure stood up straighter, one hand scratching the back of his head and the other resting on his hip. “Looks like I was found out, right?”

Kirigiri could hear Celes’s cackle in her mind.  _Thought_ me _longing for you was bad, did you?_

_Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up._

“Are you serious?”

“Heh, yeah. I know I haven’t ever said anything, but I’ve always thought you were hot, Kirigiri-chi.”

_Oh god. I’m going to throw up. I am literally going to be sick in the dorm laundry room._

“I mean, I know it’s no good ‘cause you like the ladies, but hey! That’s something we have in common, right?” Hagakure leaned on the washer and offered her an exaggerated wink.

_How do I get out of this? How do I stop this from happening? Heart attack. I need to fake a heart attack._

“So if you don’t mind being a little adventurous, I was thinkin’ that maybe we could try one of those…you know,  _menagerie tois_  things.”

A vivid image of the key to her father’s liquor cabinet popped into her mind.

“You wouldn’t have to do anything with me, just lemme watch. Who do you think we could ask? I’d be good for Asahina-chi, but I don’t think Ogre’d go for that. Oh hey, what about Enoshima-chi? She’s pretty kinky, right?”

“Ex-Excuse me,” Kirigiri said. “I need to go.”

“So I guess that’s a no?” Hagakure asked as the detective fled the laundry room.

~

Later, after she’d calmed down and consumed half a handle of bourbon nicked from the headmaster’s secret room, Kirigiri realized two things. For one, Hagakure had no income with which to purchase the gifts, and even if he did, there was no way he’d be able to present her with so many things that lined up to her taste. Besides, his handwriting was widely known to be very formal and legible—he wouldn’t be able to imitate the loopy style of the note even if he concentrated. Hagakure could not have been the secret admirer.

Her intense relief was swiftly replaced by familiar disappointment.

Once again without leads. She supposed that Maizono could be consulted. Perhaps she’d found something. Glancing at the clock, Kirigiri realized it was almost six in the morning. Would Maizono even be awake now? Probably not, but she could always be woken up. The detective shakily got to her feet and headed to the hallway.

A self-erasing cassette tape that had been propped against the door tumbled over the threshold. Kirigiri stared at it in disbelief.

Across the hallway, Ishimaru’s door opened.

“Good morning, Kirigiri-kun!” He didn’t seem to notice that she didn’t return his wave.

“Ishimaru-kun,” she said, bending down to pick up the tape. “Were you aware that someone has been leaving items at my door since the beginning of the month?”

“Yes, I was.”

“And you didn’t mention it to me?”

“No, I did not.”

“…Why? Is it not against a school rule to leave things in the hallway? Isn’t that a fire hazard or disrespectful to school property?”

Ishimaru laughed. “There aren’t any rules forbidding students from participating in holiday themed activities. Your admirer promised me that the gifts would be as unobtrusive as possible.”

“So you know who it is.”

“Indeed.”

In a flash, Kirigiri crossed the corridor and seized the front of Ishimaru’s uniform. She pulled his face to hers.

“Who is it?”

“Kirigiri-kun, your breath smells suspiciously of a substance you shouldn’t be able to acquire at your current age.”

“Ishimaru-kun. Who. Is. It.” Her teeth pressed together, her voice a sizzling hiss between them. “I swear I will have my father expel you if you don’t tell me.”

“Do what you will, I refuse to break confidence. That is my promise as a man.”

“Your promise as a man?”

“Yes. As Kyoudai always says, a man’s word is his sacred vow. I swore to that person that I would not reveal their identity, and so I will not.”

Kirigiri released her classmate and sighed. “I’m sorry, Ishimaru-kun.”

“I don’t have much experience with this kind of thing, but you usually do not act so irrationally. Therefore, I have to assume this is difficult for you.” He smiled at her. “Since you’re up, why don’t you join me for  _rajio taisou?_ ”

“Thank you, but I’m actually feeling rather unwell today. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“I see. Be sure to collect all of your missed work from your teachers at the end of the day.” Ishimaru began to walk toward the gymnasium, stopping in the common area of the dorm to turn back and smile at her. “And please take care of yourself, Kirigiri-kun. A healthy mind requires a healthy body to reach its full potential.”

~

Maizono hadn’t had anything to report. Now that even the time frame was debunked, Kirigiri had nowhere else to go. Whenever she hit a wall like this in a case, she would review what she had so far and seek out new evidence. The only new development was a voice-altering bowtie received as that day’s gift. It was goofy, but charming.

Taking stock of all twenty-one presents she’d received, Kirigiri had to admit that whoever was behind this had a firm grasp on what she liked. There hadn’t been a single thing Kirigiri hadn’t been happy to get—there wasn’t even anything she would consider so-so. This upset her further; clearly someone had been doing a careful study of her preferences, without her knowledge. Being observed and evaluated was not the side of the two-way mirror she wanted to be on.

Either this was a deeply passionate gesture, or the person behind it was quite dedicated to making her feel inferior.

Good detectives made judgments based on facts and information, not paranoid delusions. Before she headed down that road, she had to first treat the gifts as sincere tokens of affection. Without a good alternative, Kirigiri had to consult the only person she knew to be something of an authority on romance.

Strangely, Fukawa was not in the library, but the dojo. Huddled beneath one of the indoor sakura trees, the writer was mumbling to herself and furiously scribbling in a tattered notebook. She wasn’t even aware of Kirigiri’s presence until she was right beside her.

“W-What do you want?” she said after her initial cower of surprise.

Kirigiri hesitated; she had literally no one else to go to at this moment, but Fukawa didn’t seem to be in the best position to advise her.

“Just to talk.”

“Uh huh, s-sure. What do you really w-want?”

“Your company.” The detective sat down next to her classmate. It struck her as strange that they hadn’t spoken more often. Perhaps if Fukawa’s calling had been mystery novels, they would have become inseparable friends. “That’s all.”

“Don’t make me laugh. N-No one wants that.” Fukawa scooted away, trying to hide around the curve of the tree trunk.

“Honestly, I regret that we’ve never properly spoken before. We’ve been in the same class for almost two years now, and I feel as though I don’t know very much about you.”

“T-That’s intentional.”

She had to tread lightly. Too much pushing and Fukawa would flee. Kirigiri let several silent moments pass, noting how the author’s shoulders relaxed and she returned to annotating her paper.

“What are you working on?”

“Oh, you’re still here?”

“I’m intrigued.”

Fukawa regarded her with a wary glare, the notebook pressed against her chest.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to share if you aren’t inclined.”

“I’m th-thinking of challenging myself,” Fukawa said. “Trying to break out of my usual f-formula.”

“Is that so?”

“It’ll still be romance, you know, just…d-different. From what I usually write.”

“How so? No happy ending?”

“N-No. No happy ending.” Fukawa flipped a few pages. “W-Would you like to hear the summary?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“It’s about a young maiden in a p-poor village by the sea. She falls in love with the s-sea god’s d-daughter.”

Kirigiri felt this was a good time to move closer. “That sounds very interesting, though I might be a bit biased. You aren’t attempting to pander to me, are you?”

“P-Please. Don’t f-flatter yourself. Same sex romance is popular these days.”

They shared a laugh.

“Anyway, the young goddess is beautiful and strong. The protagonist can’t help but become infatuated with her, even though the maiden’s betrothed to a handsome prince from a wealthy kingdom.”

“Mmm, seems like quite the dilemma.”

“Not only that, the goddess’s hand is also already promised to someone else. The queen of the mountain giants.”

Kirigiri couldn’t tell if Fukawa was aware of how threadbare her allegory was. Rather than point it out, she wrapped her arm around the writer. Though Fukawa initially stiffened, after a few minutes she put her head on the detective’s shoulder.

“How does it end?” Kirigiri asked.

“Either s-settling or s-suicide.”

“Fukawa-san…”

“It’s okay, Kirigiri-san. It’s j-just a story.”

~

That evening Kirigiri went to bed feeling better than she had since the month started. If nothing else, she had ruled out Fukawa as a suspect, and gained a new friend. The writer had slowly opened up during their short time together, and they’d made plans to meet in the library every Tuesday after classes ended. Fukawa claimed that she needed Kirigiri’s input as a lesbian; that might have been true, but she doubted it was solely for the book.

It felt nice to be someone’s mentor—it gave her a sense of agency and control she’d been missing the last few weeks.

The following morning, however, her good mood was stamped out. Waiting for her outside the door was a bottle of hand lotion, draped in an invitation to a birthday party on the twenty-fourth.

There was only one person in her class, in the school, that could concoct such an insulting offering.

She slammed the classroom door open, hard enough that it slid halfway closed again. It startled the two students sitting inside into halting their conversation.

“Enoshima Junko,” Kirigiri said, trembling in rage. “I need to speak to you.”

“You’d better get out of here, Fujisaki. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but Kirigiri looks like she’s about to give herself a stroke.”

The programmer nodded and stood up, collecting papers from the desk and meekly bowing to the detective on the way out of the room.

“Okay, so you’ve wrecked my plans for the day. What do you want to talk about?” Junko grinned and patted the recently vacated seat beside her.

Kirigiri marched to her classmate but refused to sit. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Enoshima Junko-chaaaaan!” She framed her eye with a peace sign. “Super High School Level Gal!”

“What’s the meaning of this?” Kirigiri shoved the items she’d discovered at her door that morning into the model’s face.

“That’s the invitation to our birthday party on Saturday. I had Mukuro-nee distribute them last night after I finished drawing them up.” Blue eyes lazily moved to Kirigiri’s other fist. “And that…appears to be hand cream.”

“It is indeed hand cream.”

“Oh my, Kirigiri,” Junko said, fanning herself, “I’m not sure what to say! We all know how you feel about girls, but to think I spent all that time perfecting the invitation only to have it end up as a classmate’s wank fodder-”

“Oh my god, shut up.” Kirigiri slammed the lotion bottle onto the desk.

“I guess I should be flattered. All this time I was under the impression that you weren’t interested in me.” Junko’s true smiles always bared her teeth.

“I’m not. And I’m aware that you aren’t interested in me, either.”

“Well now, let’s not be hasty.”

“Enough, Enoshima-san. This whole month it’s been in the back of my mind, that this little game was really just someone playing a trick on me. That this quest to discover my 'secret admirer’ was designed to make me feel insecure about my talent.”

“Ooooh, is _that_ what this is about?” Junko snapped her fingers and nodded, beautifully miming someone coming to a realization. “As delighted as I am to see you like this, I have nothing to do with it.”

“You should talk to Celes-san and get some tips on how to lie better.”

“I’m not lying.” Junko seized Kirigiri’s wrist, her nails piercing the leather of her jacket sleeve. She shuddered to think what they’d do to her flesh. The detective swallowed but held her ground.

“Then why did I find  _your_  invitation sitting on top of the bottle?”

“Because my sister is a useless disappointment.” The gal released Kirigiri’s arm, turning her face as if inviting her to attack it. “She seemed pretty tired last night. Probably just tossed the invitations around without paying attention so she could hurry back to bed.”

Junko crossed her arms so that her cleavage was even harder to ignore. She met Kirigiri’s eyes directly.

“I was waiting up for her, you know.”

“You heinous cow,” the detective whispered.

“Thank you!” Junko blew her a kiss as she retreated. “See you at the party!”

~

Kirigiri wasn’t able to sleep. Not being one of Enoshima’s targets was undoubtedly a good thing, but at least she was someone Kirigiri knew was scrutinizing her. If the gal wasn’t the gift-giver, that meant that in addition to Celes and Junko, there was someone else out there analyzing her every move. She was running out of people to accuse.

The terrifying thought that the culprit was someone outside their class occurred to her, but she dismissed it. If the person weren’t within the 78th class, surely there would have been a hint by now. It wouldn’t be unfair to hide among the upper or lower classmen and let her flounder around in the same tiny pool over and over. Even Junko’s games weren’t stacked that far out of the victim’s favor.

Kirigiri got up and headed into the hallway. She needed to take a walk, and if she could repeatedly look at her classmates’ names at the same time, all the better. After completing a couple of laps she heard a noise—a soft, labored kind of breathing. Edging away from Yamada’s room, she turned the corner to head back to her own bed.

The sound grew louder, restrained throaty moans harmonizing with the panting.

_These walls are soundproof,_  Kirigiri thought.  _The only way to hear what’s going on inside would be if…_

She noticed something wedged between the solid metal of the door and the frame of one of the rooms. The one across from Fukawa’s. The only room to house two students. Of course. Upon closer inspection, the mysterious object propping the door open was revealed to be the stiletto of a high heel.

_You insufferable, abhorrent, revolting **bitch.**_

Kirigiri held her breath, closed her eyes, and jammed her fingers in her ears as she hurried past the cracked door.

~

On the twenty-third, she skipped class to lie rolled up in her comforter all day. She had visitors: Naegi and Celes came by periodically; Ishimaru demanded more than once that she report to the hospital without delay; Asahina threatened to break down the door until she was scolded by Oogami; Fukawa shyly knocked once and asked if Kirigiri was feeling any better.

Around eleven p.m., hunger finally drove her out of her room. Without looking down, she stepped over whatever had been left as the day’s gift and headed to the cafeteria. Confiscating her father’s skeleton key had been one of her better ideas.

Returning to her room with a plate of curry rice, Kirigiri accidentally glanced down. Lying at her feet was a glass tube containing a small red flower.

“In-vitro rose.”

A chill settled over her. Considered to be the ultimate expression of love, Kirigiri had been holding one of these the night she’d gone to confess. The night she’d heard and saw things she didn’t want to know. She had smashed the one she’d purchased on the hallway floor before rushing next door to Celes’s room.

“ _Kirigiri-san, what’s wrong?”_

_Celes hadn’t been wearing her extensions, her short black hair framing her face. It was so similar to **hers…**_

_Kirigiri had pushed her friend down onto her bed, her own mouth tasting of mucus and salt from her tears._

“ _Please…” she’d said. “Please, I just want to feel needed. Make me feel wanted.”_

_The gambler had tenderly touched her cheek, pulling her face in close._

“ _You’ve come to the right place,” she’d said, and kissed Kirigiri deeply._

The detective shuddered, breaking loose from the memory. Her mind whirred, unable to process what this meant. There should only be three people who knew about the rose. The admirer was not Celes and not Junko. Could it be possible that this entire month, the person pursuing her was the one she was trying to forget?

She placed the curry rice on her table and sat down, studying the rose more closely. It was exquisite—the glass magnified the flower so that she could see the veins snaking through the tiny petals. Kirigiri bit the end of her glove’s middle finger and pulled it off her hand, wrapping her bare palm around the tube. The glass enhanced her scarred flesh as well, but beside the rose it took on a certain kind of beauty.

_This is how you make me feel,_ she’d intended to say that night.  _When I’m with you, my jagged edges are more like the angles of an artistic sculpture._

Food forgotten, Kirigiri slipped under her covers. She left her gloves sitting on the table beside her uneaten dinner.

~

There was no gift standing guard at her door the morning of the twenty-fourth. That was to be expected; today was the day when she would confront her admirer in front of all of their friends and finally,  _finally_  share a kiss and an embrace with her. An exemplary Christmas gift.

Ikusaba really was an amazing lover.

Kirigiri couldn’t wait to find out what else Junko had been keeping from her.

Though the party wasn’t supposed to start until five that evening, she began preparations as soon as she finished breakfast. The trip to the cafeteria was mandatory, as she had to reassure Naegi and the others that her absence yesterday was not the initial domino in a line that ended in the emergency room. Even so, Celes had seemed unnerved by her dramatic mood swing.

“You’re really not planning to do anything drastic, correct?” The gambler moved out of the way of the underclassman hanging a string of black-and-white bear-shaped lights.

“I wouldn’t say what I plan to do _isn’t_  drastic,” Kirigiri said, her mania preventing her from noticing Celes’s alarmed expression, “but it doesn’t involve self-harm.”

“Don’t scare me like that.” Celes resumed her usual poker face. “I take it this means you’ve discovered who has been behind the gifts?”

“Yes.”

“I believe you made me a promise, detective.”

“Let’s just say that this time I won’t need to seek your comfort.”

“That was a low blow, Kirigiri-san.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Since I figured it out I’ve felt reckless.”

“So what was the definitive proof?”

Kirigiri glanced around to make sure the lower-classmen decorating for the party weren’t looking, then removed the in-vitro rose from inside her jacket.

“Ah, yes. Very romantic. Not a rose whip or anything, mind you, but good in its own way.”

“Like you wouldn’t be pleased if you received one.”

“Only if it came from you, dear.” Celes extended a hand. “May I?”

Reluctantly, Kirigiri handed her the tube. The gambler examined it, turning it over in her hands.

“I don’t see any indication here that this is from Ikusaba-san.”

“What do you mean? It’s an in-vitro rose. Who else could it be from?”

“Really, it could be from anyone you haven’t already ruled out,” Celes said, eyes still on the gift.

“There’s only three people besides myself who knew about it,” Kirigiri said. She could feel a hot flush crawling up her neck.

“I think that’s a bit generous, don’t you? I know, you know, Enoshima-san probably has worked that little knot out, but I doubt Ikusaba-san has made the connection.”

“Enoshima-san probably told her.”

Celes looked up at Kirigiri, one eyebrow raised.

The blush had reached the detective’s face now. She could feel the heat pressing against her skin from the inside.

“No one likes a sore loser, Celes,” she said, snatching the rose from the gambler’s hand and returning to her room.

~

She wouldn’t let Celes’s jealousy ruin her night. It was unfortunate that Kirigiri was poised to have her long, painful infatuation reciprocated while Celes had to watch her beloved be happy with someone else, but there was no helping it. Once the gambler calmed down and stopped being so self-centered, she’d be happy for her.

Kirigiri retouched her make-up and examined herself again in the full-length mirror. The dress was simple but becoming. The deep purple satin accentuated her skin tone, and the rhinestones on her clutch helped camouflage her gloves. She always felt awkward wearing the gloves without sleeves.

Five o'clock arrived more quickly than she liked. As she gathered her things—the in-vitro rose, a small make-up kit for touch-ups, a box with gold hoop earrings for Enoshima’s present, a card for Ikusaba’s (her real gift would come later), her phone—Kirigiri’s anxiety mounted. Was she ready for this? Her reputation at school, not to mention her family’s reputation in the world, was that of a reserved, intelligent pillar of logic. People like her didn’t make grand love confessions in the middle of a birthday party.

And as little as she wanted to admit it, Celes had rattled her with her observation. What if she  _was_  wrong? What if the gifts  _weren’t_  from Ikusaba? What if, when she made her feelings public, all she received was a confused expression and an awkward apology?

No. No, she couldn’t back down now. She had a right to express her love to the person she fancied. If she didn’t, if she ran away again, it would only be more of the same. If Fukawa could change her formula, so could Kirigiri.

“I was a little worried you would avoid me tonight,” Celes said when she arrived.

“You’re still my friend,” Kirigiri said.

“You’re looking great, Kirigiri-san!” Naegi offered a thumbs up. “I heard from Celes-san that you figured out who your secret admirer is. I’m so proud of you!”

“I bet you’re also relieved to not have to keep her secret anymore.”

Naegi held up his hands with an abashed grin. “Guilty as charged.”

Electronic feedback pierced their eardrums, and everyone turned to the center of the room, where Junko had climbed onto a table and was holding a microphone.

“First off, I want to thank you losers for coming!” she said, waving regally. “Not really! We hate you all!” Junko struck a pose Kirigiri remembered seeing in their textbook on the section about rock and roll abroad. “Naw, just joking. We love you guys!”

The detective’s ears picked up the whispered addition of “…to be in despair” in spite of the cheers.

“Anyway, Nee-chan and I were thinking that we would start with the presents. With that out of the way we can do all that boring stuff you guys like. Dancing, cake, KFC, whatever.”

Junko hopped off the table and crooked her finger at someone off to the right; one of the boys from the class below theirs with wild white hair pushed in an art room trolley loaded with all the gifts that had been collected at the door. Kirigiri reached into her bag and touched Ikusaba’s card. She didn’t feel comfortable adding it to the pile, so she had decided to present it herself after Enoshima opened the earrings.

The twins sat down at the central table and their guests formed a circle around them. The nurse’s aid began handing them wrapped packages, announcing who the giver was.

“Wait,” Mukuro said, to the visible annoyance of the nurse’s aid. “I think Junko-chan and I should exchange our gifts first.”

“Muku-nee, you know I didn’t get you anything.”

“Your existence is enough for me. Here.”

It was like watching a play, at the exact moment where the tragic hero meets their fate. She was aware of Celes taking her hand as Junko tore through the meticulously wrapped paper and pulled out a glass tube.

“What the fuck is this?”

“It’s an in-vitro rose,” Mukuro said with a warm smile. “They’re popular to give as gifts because they last longer than fresh flowers. The red one denotes true love. You’ll always have my full devotion.”

“This is just like you, Nee-chan.” Junko’s mouth quirked up on one side. “I think I do have a gift for you after all, but it’ll have to come after the party.”

“Kirigiri…” Celes said, but the detective was already elbowing bodies out of her way. The door to the cafeteria was too far; she wouldn’t be able to contain herself that long. She instead wrenched open the door to the food storage area and crouched on the concrete floor, sobbing.

It wasn’t fair. She had been so excited. For once, someone she was crazy about felt the same way. For the first time, she was going to get to experience true reciprocation. Have a real relationship that didn’t involve lopsided affections like with Celes, or a lack of sexual attraction like with Naegi, or end with her being left behind feeling used and lonely like with Yui-senpai.

She gasped for air, a rough whine grumbling in her throat. Not only was her love not returned, she hadn’t even been able to determine who the real culprit was. While she could file this Ikusaba problem with the rest of her unlucky-in-love experiences, solving mysteries was supposed to be what she was good at. Had she not gotten into this absurdly prestigious academy based on her merits as a detective? Was her bloodline not a solid chain of truth-finders, stretching back into the mists of history?

What the fuck was  _wrong_  with her?

“Um…Kirigiri-san?”

With a defeated groan, she looked up to see a blue-haired girl standing over her.

“Oh, Maizono-san. I’m sorry you have to see me like this.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m sorry.”

“Why? It wasn’t your job to find my admirer. It was mine. And I failed.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Maizono said, bending down and putting an arm around Kirigiri, “for not making it more obvious.”

“What?” Kirigiri’s tear-blurred vision came into focus; she noticed that the idol had a large ribbon tied in her hair to simulate a gift bow.

“ _I’m_  your secret admirer. Well, not so secret now, but still.”

“You?”

“Yes.”

“But we barely talk.”

“I know, and that really hurts me, because I want to get to know you better.”

“How much better could you know me? You’ve just given me exactly the kinds of gifts I would want every day for almost a month. How did you even manage that? Did you interview everyone I’ve ever spoken to?”

“No,” Maizono said and laughed. “I just paid attention to you. We happen to have a lot of the same classes, and we spend time in the same places, just not together. Also, I had a little bit of help from my 'powers’ too.”

“Your esper powers.”

“Yep!”

Kirigiri felt guilty; Maizono had invested a great deal of time and effort into wooing her, and here she was in tears over someone else. The last thing she needed was another Celes.

However, now that she properly looked, the idol was very much her type. She had written her off for her effusive, bubblegum personality early in their first year, but clearly Maizono knew how to uncover and keep secrets. There was something intriguing and—dare she say it— _alluring_  about someone with so many layers.

“I have a question,” Kirigiri said, reaching into her purse.

“Ask away.”

“How did you know about this?” She removed the in-vitro rose and held it between them.

“Oh, that. Believe it or not, I was actually there the night you went to confess to Ikusaba-san. I had just come back from the laundry when I saw you leave your room and head toward the twins’. Originally I was going to stop you, but then I questioned whether my motive was selfish or not. Was I interfering because I didn’t want you to get hurt, or because I was afraid Ikusaba-san would take you away?”

Kirigiri had posed that particular question to herself before too. She had more in common with Maizono than she thought.

“Anyway, I was about to go back into my room when I heard something break. I turned around and saw the glass and the rose on the floor, and I realized that I should have stopped you. Before I could call out to you or offer any comfort, you were already inside Celes-san’s room.”

“I certainly fucked up that night,” Kirigiri said. “Apparently my actions made exactly no one happy in the long term.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You were upset.”

“That doesn’t excuse how I hurt Celes-san, or how I was so self-involved that I didn’t even notice your presence.”

“Celes-san could have said no,” Maizono said, flipping some hair behind her shoulder. “As for me, I’ve gotten pretty good at sneaking around. When your entire life is on display and the tiniest mistake can ruin you in your fans’ eyes, you learn to be invisible.”

Kirigiri didn’t know what to say to that. It certainly explained how such a perfect potential lover had gone by unseen for the last two years.

“May I tell you a secret, Kirigiri-san?”

“I think that’s fair.”

“The actual purpose of the game wasn’t to be coy and romantic. I mean it was fun, but I’m not actually too shy to confess to you.”

“Then why bother?”

“Because, like I said, my image has to remain squeaky clean if I want to keep being an idol. Part of that means I’m not allowed to date. Anyone. Seeing a boy would be bad enough, but a homosexual scandal might bring death threats. I don’t just mean to my career.”

The detective nodded.

“So we would have to be a secret. Our friends here can know, so long as they keep it to themselves or are untrustworthy enough that no reputable news source would ever believe them.”

_Hagakure,_  Kirigiri thought.

“I guess the game was more of a test. Not of you, but of me.” Maizono smoothed a wrinkle in her dress. “If I could stump even the great detective Kirigiri Kyouko, no one would be able to find out.”

“Maizono-san?”

“Call me Sayaka.”

“Mai- Sa- We’ll have to work up to that.” She was blushing again, but the heat no longer burned.

“You want to know what today’s gift is.”

“Your intuition really is sexy. Good! I mean it’s really grood. Good. Great and good. Good and great.”

“Wow, you’re even cuter than I imagined you’d be.”

“So today’s gift?”

“Ah, that.” Maizono pulled her arm away from Kirigiri’s shoulders and knelt across from her. From behind her back she held up a small plant.

“You’ve lived abroad, right Kiri-chan? So you should recognize this.”

_Kiri-chan?_

“It’s mistletoe.”

“ _Pin pon!_  And what do foreigners do under mistletoe?”

Kirigiri had said a lot of stupid things lately. Usually she was better with words than this. Maybe she really should be like Fukawa and alter her formula. She couldn’t trust her tongue to say anything else, so she gave it another job instead.


End file.
